Sometimes I feel so overwhelmingly sad. I feel so empty and lonely and like there is and will always be this huge void in my life that will never be fulfilled. I want so badly to be loved that it has become the thing I fear the most. I don't let people love me because they could so easily leave me with nothing. And I feel like I'm letting it interfere with my love of God. I never feel Him anymore. Never. Mainly because it hurts when I do. Conviction isn't something that is easily felt. I have so many demons I just want to bury, but can't let go of. All I ever wanted to was to be happy, but I let stupid things define my happiness.
I just want to relive my life and do everything right.
I want to be something someone could be proud of.
I feel like I'm a shame.
I have nothing to show, but I don't want to live my life thinking I have to have something to show.
I just want to be me, as cliche and trite as that is. But I do.
Sometimes I really wonder what the point to life is.
I'm not suicidal. I just have a lot of questions about my life.
I just want to be comforted. to know that it's gonna be okay.
I just miss when I was a kid and i didn't have to worry about things.
I miss when I got along with my mom and when we didn't say things to intentionally hurt one another.
I miss when I didn't know how sick my dad was and didn't have to worry about him all the time.
ignorance really is bliss.
-stephanie.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
I love you Stephanie. And even though i'm busy with school and everything I want to make it a priority to be there for you. I need you in my life girl.
I can relate to the whole wanting love but not wanting to let someone close for fear they might leave.
I worried about that since day one of my relationship with Michael. I never really thought my fears would come true. Don't let fear though stop you, because not everyone who loves you will leave you. Maybe just the people you aren't meant to be with.
I love you.
And if you ever need to talk, i'm here =]
Post a Comment